Things I can do without a girlfriend

A while ago, just to boost my morale I made up a list of things I could indulge in freely now that I am single again. I came across it the other day:

  • Tick my fork against my teeth while eating, without irritating anyone;
  • Eat crisps and apples;
  • Pack and unpack things, move items without anyone getting a stomach ache;
  • Clean the house when it’s necessary, not when it’s planned;
  • Sort books on the bookshelves by theme, not height;
  • Watch Walking with Cavemen without causing existential crises;
  • Leave the house without having to wait for last-minute makeup and a pee;
  • Eat prawns;
  • Watch Dekalog, without scaring anyone;
  • Have friends over, even the ones that are unhappy, or odd;
  • Talk with people about whatever I want to talk about, in whatever way I want to talk with them, without anyone objecting to either openness or honesty;
  • Watch films with Kate Winslet.

At least some of those I wrote down in anger (to use a very big word), but now that I read it, I find myself amused.


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