April 15th: Day of Missed Friendships
Today’s the birthday of one of my witnesses at my wedding. Well, technically, she was my girlfriend’s witness, and our wedding was a ‘civil partnership’. That’s an alternative form of marriage that exists in my country. There are only three differences with a proper marriage, and they all refer to children. As long as my girlfriend and I did not have children -and we didn’t- we were legally indistinguishable from ‘married’ couples.
My girlfriend and I broke up eight days short of four months after our ceremony at the town hall. I realised I’d probably never see our witness and her husband again. In their case I regretted that to an extent that made me at least try to beat the odds. Slightly over a month later I wrote them an email saying that I realised circles of friends usually break up along the same lines that were there before, but that in their case, the odds weren’t satisfactory for me. I would miss them dearly.
I also explained that they were part of my girlfriend’s support network in the first place, so whatever decision they took, I’d respect it. I got an angry remark from my girlfriend, who had not yet informed her own witness of our breakup. Our witness and her husband did not reply.
Today she becomes 31 and I’ve been hesitating about sending her an email or text message to congratulate her. Off course I shouldn’t, and I won’t. But it hurts.
Instead, I decided to write this blog and declare April 15th to be the day of missed friendships. Today we think of all the people we once knew and wanted to befriend but didn’t. April 15th is for all those friendships that did not come about because of negligence, unfortunate miscommunications, stupidity or mere bloody circumstances.